He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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