The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
