it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
