Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
