So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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