We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
