You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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