So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
