how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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