I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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