My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
