She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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