you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
