I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
