This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
