sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
