where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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