big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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