Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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