some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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