I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
