I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
