Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
