Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
