On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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