Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
