Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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