Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
