The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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