we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
