how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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