I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
