Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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