You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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