OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
