is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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