her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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