have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
