I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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