Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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