We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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