maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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