is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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