i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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