before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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