Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
