Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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