I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want her autograph on my taint
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
