i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
