She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
