He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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