my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
