i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i believe in u and ur pee
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
