just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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