Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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