Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
