yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
