Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
