is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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