I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
