The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
